Like a glutton for punishment…
I returned to the fabulous acoustic spot in Pasadena for two reasons – to possibly meet up with Adele and to be in a a convenient location to go to the church. Jerry stayed out with me for a good bit of pitch, sitting on the little footer just behind me, making requests every now and again. He spent the time doing readings for his upcoming exam, so with his head down he didn’t notice as I did how he also received those horrible distrustful looks. One song he requested was The Blower’s Daughter which I’d avoided singing for a long while now due to it’s particular significance to me, but now feels alright again. It’s a really really depressing tune.
As I write this long after the ire has passed, I can’t quite capture the fierceness of my frustration and the intensity of my disgust. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. A few have told me they want this blog to provide an unfiltered view of the highs and the lows. Usually I get over the shitty times – somethings saves it or I choose not to remember or time simply passes. Much of that anger is fresh still, it raged so strong, but this many days later, happy as I currently feel, I don’t want to let it out to burn again. So forgive me for omitting.
Characteristically, my only dollar tips came from an Irish couple. Well besides a haughty dangled quarter shoved in my face first before being placed with a sneer but I said I wasn’t going to get angry. Towards the end of the pitch a fourteen year old punk rocker busker passed and sang me his original Pasadena People are Stupid song with understandably juvenile lyrics which I sympathized with anyways.
Church saved the day. No pun intended. I took the bus to the Christian Assembly as directed by Jonathan, with an unfriendly bus driver and fellow commuters as company for the ride. The music and joy within, the commitment to see one another, the strength and goodwill flowing back into me as we joined hands or sang or listened to the very apt sermon. He spoke on humility and loving those customers/clients of yours by seeing where those ornery bits are coming from, forgiving them their cruelties. One verse he read and explicated at the end particularly blew my mind – how Jesus did not lower himself to be a servant, but how service is actually the very nature of God. So for me – serve, remain humble, and love those who love me not.
Jonathan treated me to a sandwich from the cafe, where a singer/songwriter, Austin, played a set of excellently rendered covers, including The Blower’s Daughter. I’d been requested that song the day previously, too, but hadn’t sung it, and somehow it just kept popping up in conversation this day (3.6). I stayed ’til the end of his set and gave a pointer when he asked. And never in my mind did I compare his quality to mine – and so I was able to enjoy the music, as music.
Earnings: $4.33, 2 hours
Song of the Day: Blower’s Daughter – Damien Rice