Valencian Efficiency by Brent Ho

Terrence wrote everything in italics.

To make a long story short, Terrence and I went to Valencia, where we videogamed and ate paella.

To make a long story medium, I shall use sentence fragments and start earlier. We started out in Segovia, trying to get to Valencia. Plan was to go to Madrid, play video games till 6am, and sleep on a 7 hour train to Valencia. Bought ticket to Madrid. Couldn’t buy tickets to Valencia, as those would constitute “advance tickets”, and those would have to be purchased from the adjacent desk, which was 3 feet (1 meter) away and the guy didn’t wanna move to it even though there was no one else in line. Ticket machines were broken. Because Spain.

Arrived in Madrid, at 9pm, all ticket machines were broken. Asked, and we were told that they begin to function again at 7am, and that the machines stop working daily at night. Advance ticket counter people have left for the night. (i shall remind you that the train leaves at 6am) Went to gaming place and they were closing at midnight that night. Went back to train station, and they were closing too for the night, opening at 5am. Told to just get on a metro train and meet the long train further down the line, so that we can get on the train after 7am, and thus have a ticket. Told this by several people. Went to a bar/restaurant, where I managed to buy a ticket online. Stayed up. At 5:30 went to station, printed ticket (can’t buy tix but can print???), got on train, slept.

Arrived in Valencia at noonish. To get out of the station, have to line up and have some lady ask us our direction, tell her, and have her point us somewhere. Terrence tries to get out, gets yelled at. So we wait. T says it could be the dumbest thing he’s ever seen. mindblowing

Went downtown, found wifi, found a hostel. Go, where it takes an hour to check in. (not 55 minutes in line and 5 minutes if checking in; 30 minutes in line and 1 hour of checking in). Go to Dreamhack.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many nerds in one place in my life.”
– Terrence Ho

Take last train back in to town, passing by Kung fu and “Jackie Chan” shouting youth. Eat at a Chinese place, cuz everywhere else is closed. T practices his mandarin.

More nerds.

Spend a few days in Valencia because all trains are full for 3 days. Ate lots of paella. Found good paella at a place whose hours were 2pm – 4:15pm and 9pm – 11pm.

As a side note, everything in Valencia is always closed. There are hordes of wide eyed DSLR clutching tourists eager to give you their money, but the Valencians don’t want it. I’ve never seen so many tourists in front of closed stores. The only places open are places run by immigrants.

Thus, ate Chinese food and played hearthstone in Indian locutorios.

Finally left.

Oh yeah, Terrence busked once. He went to some place and started playing. I took pictures and tried to watch supportively, but he told me that he felt nervous and that it looked like I was judging him and the quality of his playing (I was). As he had previously reprimanded me for not looking interested enough, among other things, and as I was now being told I was looking too interested, I walked off. Took more pictures. Came back and tried to smile / be nice.

Oh and some tiny money draining leech passes by with her mommy. Then gives some of her mom’s money to Terrence. Then watches more. And gives the rest of her mom’s coins to Terrence. Brent is describing a very wonderful little girl who stayed for a couple songs and watched/listened with a huge smile alongside her mother, then tipped multiple times. Probably my best busking experience in Spain.

And finally some dudes were all like “oh my gawd this dude speaks Spanish lets give him some money.”

Earnings: 0,00€, 1.5 hours

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